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Pregnancy and Future Plans

I am sixteen weeks pregnant (and so thrilled!) and slowly climbing out of the nausea and fatigue. My hormones are crazy though and I can't find any girl names Paul and I agree on. Boy names have always been easy for us; just this afternoon I threw out a boy name and Paul really liked it. I also threw out probably twenty five girl names, none of which he remotely liked, not to mention I didn't half care for them either. There is one girl name I love and Paul sort of agreed on it last week but now he's not sure. Paul and I have always picked out our babies' names before the ultrasound so hopefully we'll be able to settle on something these next few weeks.

Most friends and family, including myself, think baby's a girl, but we shall see! Boy or girl, it doesn't matter. What is significant, though, is that this is our last one. It's a bittersweet feeling, but in a way very exciting. It feels like Paul and I have been changing diapers and raising toddlers our entire marriage, which we love (not really the diaper part so much), but now we are heading into a new phase in our lives - well, we will be in a few years. I know I'll miss having a baby on my hip, but it's bound to happen someday sooner or later.

Right now, my mind is busy trying to find a name, trying to get the boys enrolled in school and soccer, and figuring out the best place to keep the baby for the first year or so. We decided to enroll the boys in school this year because it's something Paul really wanted for them and also it will give me time to chase after Izaac and adjust to having a new baby. Homeschooling the boys would be stressful considering the circumstances. I know how much I can handle and homeschooling two kids plus chasing a one year old plus preparing for and caring for a newborn is not on the list! At first, Joel didn't want to go, but just the other day he said he's not afraid anymore; Elijah is ecstatic about it. That makes me feel great about sending them to the little country school that's 5 minutes down the road.

I've also been de-cluttering the house (inside and out) and it feels wonderful. Paul hauled off over a thousand pounds of trash and junk this week! Talk about an eye-opener! We have also had a garage sale and have taken two substantial loads to the salvation army. Everything that stays is going into a bin with a label or neatly into a closet or onto a shelf. I still have a long way to go but what has been done so far brings a sigh of relief.

Thinking Aloud

It's almost one hundred degrees outside and my baby has to wear footie pjs all. day. Either that or a onesie, tights, jeans, tennis shoes and a shirt. Otherwise he will scratch his little legs, feet, stomach and back until they're oozing, bleeding and infected. I never realized how much I loved dressing my oldest two boys in cute little outfits or shorts during the summer months; or how much I enjoyed seeing them run through the hose in a diaper. When Izaac was born I never imagined he would run through the sprinkler dressed head to toe. Honestly, it's heartbreaking. I feel so guilty somedays, especially when people offer well-meaning advice. It's hard for people to understand that his skin practically drinks creams and moisturizers, leaving him still with blotchy red, dry patches of skin from his sweet face to the bottom of his feet. I have tried gluten-free, dairy-free; I have used every cream on the market; he has had chiropractic care; I have attempted every possible solution but one.

I think this is the one that will make a difference. Izaac, I'm determined, WILL wear shorts this summer, and play in the hose in a bathing suit and will run around in a diaper. Because I'm hoping this issue will be resolved this summer. Through a series of events, some detective work as well as online research, I am convinced Izaac is allergic to detergents. Eliminating detergents from our home is what I believe will be the way we'll manage the eczema.

Here is information I stumbled upon written by a mom whose infant son's eczema, she discovered, was caused by detergent sensitivity, and it describes Izaac to a T.

Possible Signs of this Detergent Sensitivity:

The following signs are not necessarily unique to this sensitivity, but they may help identify it. Your baby/child may have a general detergent sensitivity if:

• He gets eczema all over, but you use disposable diapers and the diaper area is relatively clear of eczema.
  
• Her eczema changes noticeably, either for better or worse, following a bath or shower.
  
• His eczema sometimes seems to fluctuate wildly from day to day.
  
• Washing just with water can sometimes cause an outbreak.
  
• She gets particularly bad eczema on her cheeks or chin where she rests it on your shoulder or against your hair when you hold her.
  
• His pattern of eczema from foods is inconsistent or follows strange lines: he might seem allergic to cooked or canned foods but not to fresh ones, or he reacts more to cooked foods than to raw ones (if it’s a protein allergy, it should logically be the other way around).
  
• Her eczema is worse on exposed skin, especially as she crawls around during the day.
  
• Sweating makes the eczema markedly worse. Or the eczema is worse in areas that remain moist, such as behind the knees.
  
• He reacts to just about everything on the allergy skin tests, yet his blood tests show very few allergies. (We have not had allergy tests done on Izaac yet).
  
• Her eczema does seem related to what you are using to wash her or the laundry with, but switching products has maybe improved it but never made it go away.
  
• He seems to get eczema from just about everything he touches and eats.
• (Another one not mentioned on this list is that he has eczema everywhere but his diaper area, if using disposable diapers - which we are - because the diaper area doesn't come into contact with detergents).

I have ordered detergent-free laundry soap, cleaner, soap, shampoo, dish soap, dishwasher powder and hope to soon order lotion, toothpaste (I was amazed at what all has detergent in it!), deodorant and a good vacuum. There is a ton of work to be done (and a ton of laundry) to get our home detergent-free but if it changes anything for Izaac it will be worth it 100 times over!! No more tears, no more scratching fits or tearing through clothing or waking up at night! I have been praying for wisdom, and healing for Izaac and I believe this could be an answer.

Since I am having to wait for the soaps to come in the mail (there are no stores around here that sell them, to my knowledge), I am not able to go crazy ridding our house of detergents like I wanted to do today but as soon as they come, I'll let you know. And I'll definitely let you know when I see results.

This could be the end of a hard journey.

New Page

In case you're wondering, I am returning to the online journal, write-whenever-and-whatever-you-want type format. Maybe a broader range of topics will cause me write something instead of nothing more often. :)

A Prayer for Moms

"In the multitude of my anxieties within me,

Your comforts delight my soul."

Psalm 94:19

Father, I pray for each mother who reads

this today that she would be filled with Your

peace and sheltered in Your comfort.

Give her grace to have delight and joy in You

and in her children today.

Still the anxieties of her heart that she may

hear Your voice.

Tips and Tricks: Let's Play a Game

"Yes ma'am, I'd Be Happy To!" are words I never thought I'd hear (willingly) from my boys, ages six and four, but thanks to a tip in Michelle Duggar's book I now hear them regularly. In fact, a few times I even heard them at Wal-mart and received plenty of approving nods - quite a contrast from the usual looks I receive when all three boys are acting like ping-pong balls in the isles.

After reading about the "obedience game" in the book The Duggars: 20 and Counting!

, I called the boys into the living room, explained the rules and they, having mountains of energy, were ready for the challenge.

I said something like, "Joel, run as fast as you can down the hall and back, jump three times in front of the couch then tag my hand!" and in order for him to go he would have to say, "Yes ma'am, I'd be happy to!" then follow the directions. The boys liked the funny challenges and by the end of the game they got over the initial weirdness of saying "yes ma'am, I'd be happy to". At that point, to reinforce these newfound manners, I explained, "You will get a check mark every time you say yes ma'am today and at the end of the day I'll give you a penny for each one." At that moment it was game-on!

Over the next few days, they competed to see who could get the most marks, and used every opportunity to say "yes ma'am, I'd be happy to!". They earned over a dollar in pennies, and more than that, gained the ability to obey quickly, respectfully and with a joyful attitude. It also gave Paul and I the opportunity to teach them that immediately and happily is the way we must obey God; because God is good, good, good and very wise, and He knows how to lead us in such a way that keeps us close to Him, protected from satan's tricks.

Teaching our children obedience is far more than training them not to embarrass us in public, it's training them to walk with Christ. And how wonderful that there are simple ways, such as the obedience game, to teach them principles that will carry them through life's storms, one obedience at a time.

Mothers, He loves you

"The Lord Your God in your midst,

the Mighty One, will save;

He will rejoice over you with gladness,

He will quiet you with His love,

He will rejoice over you with singing."

-Zephaniah 3:17

books that inspire: heaven is for real

Even though this book isn't directly about parenting, I think it is a must-read for every mom. Not only does it give us a glimpse of heaven and of the magnificent, loving God we serve, but it is a great tool to help our children tap into the realities of heaven as well, all the while drawing their hearts and minds closer to Jesus.

So, what are you waiting for? Go get this book, grab your Bible and a box of kleenex and dive in!

Tips and Tricks: A Soft Answer

The scriptures say that a soft answer turns away anger and I have found this to be true.

The following excerpt is taken from Jim Bob and Michelle Duggars book The Duggars: 20 and Counting!: Raising One of America's Largest Families--How they Do It that encouraged me to use a gentle voice even when I feel angry.

"The Wisdom Booklet [part of Michelle's homeschool curriculum] advised that when you feel anger starting to well up, you lower your voice instead of raising it. I thought, Okay, Lord. I can do that - with Your help. When the next opportunity came to put it into practice, I was amazed at the difference it made. I lowered my voice to almost a whisper, and our children noticed a much calmer mommy. Instantly I knew that God's Word is true: by using a soft voice, I was learning to turn away from anger."

- Michelle Duggar, mother of 19

The privilege of motherhood

Some say motherhood is a chore, a duty, even a drudgery, yet motherhood is a beautiful privilege. It is God handing down gifts from heaven - tiny persons He loves and treasures. Such an honor to be entrusted with the care of those intricately, tenderly, delicately woven together by the hands that cradle the world. Yes, every child is a gift. Motherhood is indeed a privilege.

Paul with his boys skating on the frozen creek. He is an incredible dad.

Random

When I looked out my living room window this morning and saw bright green pops of grass I called the boys over and showed them. They informed me that they'd already seen the green grass yesterday when they were "planting oats" as pioneers. Elijah is currently reading the Little House on the Prarie Book about Almanzo's childhood. He gets bursts of inspiration, "pauses" the book, grabs his coonskin cap and his brother and leads out in an adventure. Yesterday Elijah brought a bucket into the kitchen and filled it with apples and oranges. Said he'd need a bucket 'o fruit for all the work he'd be doing "cause pioneers, all they do is work, work, work; and I'm a pioneer". I was tempted to steer the working pioneer into his room didn't have the heart.

Joel came inside first, stripped off his boots, his jacket, shook his head and said, "Whew, good thing I brought my knife. There sure is lots-a bears out there." No doubt he single-handedly killed at least 20 bears, saving the farm, the fields and the family. Yet all in a day's work.

Elijah came in later and took off his coat slowly. Indeed, no words necessary for this pioneer. Strength yet exhaustion seeped from every pore. It was a wonder to me how he managed to play the WII after such a day.

A week ago Paul and I took the boys on an adventure after breakfast. We bundled up then set off into the woods. We were running away, you know, and we had to survive in the woods. Our journey to find the perfect place to camp for the night consisted of climbing over rocks and fallen trees, sliding under barbed-wire fences, crossing streams, climbing giant hills and walking "for miles" through rough pasture-land. Paul and I traded off carrying little Izaac who was pleasantly amused with both the walking and the climbing. At one point, our inspiration was momentarily quenched when we saw a distant highway through the bare trees, but thanks to Paul's heroic spirit we bounced back. Finally we found the perfect place to camp: a deep, dry, rocky creek bed with walls of sand and clay and a nook below exposed tree roots for shelter. Paul and I sank into the soft, cool dirt walls and watched the boys dig, climb, throw, hit, stab, stomp, grunt and growl. By the time we made it home I had blistered feet, the boys fell into a coma (nearly) and Paul was... well, perfectly fine. We all agreed it was by far the best adventure we'd ever had as a family.

Right now Izaac is standing on a stool at his bedroom window, banging it and yelling something about "help". I'm going to go get "the stinker" down.

Well, I completely lost my train of thought concerning what I'd intended to blog about next (and I'm still losing it this very moment as Izaac begs for more "na" - snack). He is SO hilarious. And not just because he's my child. He does things on purpose to make us laugh. And it works.

I have been extremely busy lately but have enjoyed it because God has been continually putting His fire on my heart to love Him. A while back I committed to read ten chapters a day in the new testament and to dialog with God about what I'm reading and it's literally the very thing that keeps me sane and keeps me from feeling like giving up - it's keeping my heart alive and I love it! I love Him! The more I know Him the more I realize He is everything good and He has more than enough strength to make up for my weaknesses.

This past Saturday we started the Children's Equipping Center (CEC) and it was awesome! We first had our instrument workshops (bass, guitar, drums, keyboard) then took Psalm 43:3 Oh, send out Your light and Your truth! Let them lead me; let them bring me to Your holy hill and to Your tabernacle, made up motions for it, explained to the kids what it meant and taught them how to sing and pray it. Then we did a worship set. Kids sang on the microphones, prayed and it was powerful. We prayed it over orphans in Swaziland, Africa and over our own hearts, that God would send out His light and His truth and lead us to Himself. Everyone was so energized. I can hardly wait until next Saturday!

Homeschool is going great. We found a large homeschool group that meets every Friday from 9a-12p and the boys each have three classes that they really like.

This school year have learned a TON in math (McRuffy, Grade K) and Joel is reading beginner books. It has been more rewarding than words can express to have homeschooled them this year. I look forward to many more years of teaching them at home and watching them learn as well as play together and go on adventures. I have been more consistent than I thought I would be this year yet less than I would like to have been, next year I know I will need more structure and a separate place for a school room. I am thinking of turning the upstairs room into the schoolroom. For now, we're working at the table (haha, I know I said I didn't want to do that) but those desk things in the living room were not working. They tip over too easily and are not the right height. The table will just have to do. Despite all the ups and downs, we've had a great year so far and I'm so thankful. It's unquestionably rewarding and I'm grateful for this opportunity. So grateful.

My gluten-free baby

It's going on two months now since Izaac began a strict, gluten-free diet and we've yet to see any changes in his skin. At one point, his skin cleared up almost completely after using a medicated cream and what a marvelous week that was! No scratching! None. He was able to toddle around the house bare-footed and lie still during diaper and outfit changes and play with toys in the bath all without feverish, uncontrollable scratching. But since regular use of a steroid cream on a baby is potentially harmful we have gone from clear skin right back to where we began (head-to-toe red, scaly, scratch-till-he-bleeds eczema), even with twice-daily applications of thick, sticky lotion. Seeing how much he suffers with it brings me to tears some days, knowing nothing we're trying is working. The next step is to take him to an allergist to see if we can pinpoint what is causing the eczema and to take him off dairy and see it that makes a difference. I am going to keep him on a GF diet, as trying as it is, because I've heard other opinions that say it can take up to six months to notice a difference.

Apart from the eczema, Izaac is an indescribable light and joy to this family - he has an outgoing, loving personality and it is infectious!

Random Christmas memory

Christmas Eve, Elijah and Joel drifted to sleep without seeming excessively excited that the next day was Christmas. Christmas day was amazing and eventful and I thought for sure the kids would pass out at the first touch of their heads to their pillows but Joel kept getting in and out of bed, wiggling and acting as I thought he might act on Christmas eve. So I asked him why he wasn't able to sleep and he sat up straight, opened his eyes wide and said, "I can't sleep because now I'm too excited about Easter!"